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A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." ...
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One day, a girl walks to her mother and look at her mother's hair and sadly said: "Why are some of your hair white mom?" The mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white. ...
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Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left." ...
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Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. ...
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The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present. "Who is the most obedient?" he asked. ...
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A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. ...
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A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman. "Anything from $2 to $2,000." "Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer. ...
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A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower. ...
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A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' ...
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A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down ...
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