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“You are so kind, funny and beautiful.” “Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed.” ...
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A police officer stops a car. Officer: “Your driver’s license please.” Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.” ...
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Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye. ...
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A cowboy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks for a shot. Across the bar, a Mexican man is sitting and glaring at the cowboy. The cowboy takes the shot and slams the shot glass down on the counter, yelling, "TGIF!" ...
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A cowboy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks for a shot. Across the bar, a Mexican man is sitting and glaring at the cowboy. The cowboy takes the shot and slams the shot glass down on the counter, yelling, "TGIF!" ...
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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" ...
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Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. ...
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A 92 year old man is walking through a park and sees a talking frog. He picks up the frog and the frogs says, “If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess and be yours for a week.” ...
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A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.” The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.” The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those ...
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A wife hangs up after about a half-hour on the phone. The husband is surprised, "Wow, that was quick - usually you girls are ...
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