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Jokes about "Children"

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The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present. “Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?” ...
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.' ...
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The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquillisers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquillisers calmed you down?" ...
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A child comes home from his first day at school. His mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?" ...
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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office." ...
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A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. ...
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Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?" ...
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Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" ...
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My five-year-old, Matt, worked with a speech therapist on the ch sound, which came out k. The therapist asked him to say chicken. He responded with kitchen. ...
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A: Meet my new born brother. B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name? ...
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